


Backwards, Upside Down, and Inside Out

by Boossuet



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Bondage, Dark Comedy, Drowned, Fire, Gritty, Hit With A Car, M/M, Mild Horror, Philadelphia Flyers, Suicide, Time Loop, Unexplained Magic, Wife Mentions, but everybody is alive at the end!, call Teddy Blueger doja cat bc he’s a freak, carl the iggy, cheating at hockey via a time loop, consent could be dubious?, crushed, death types:, electrocuted, fucking your entire team is not covid safe, implied sex, onscreen death, small covid mentions, stabbed, threesome mention, zar is a bit of a scream queen in this, zar is the only one who remembers the loops so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:20:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28803459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boossuet/pseuds/Boossuet
Summary: “We need to make a plan,” Brandon said, his jaw set with determination.“A plan? For what?” Zach asked.“I can’t imagine you want to waste thirty more days and thirty more deaths to figure this out. So we need a plan to get through as many guys in a day as possible.”“You’re making me a slut schedule?”“I was going to call it a romantic to-do list, but yeah.”“I’m concerned with how much thought you’ve put into this already,” Zach frowned.
Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin, Zach Aston-Reese/Brandon Tanev
Comments: 20
Kudos: 70





	Backwards, Upside Down, and Inside Out

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, all the game stuff is inaccurate. I am aware that ZAR is injured until February, the games are not back-to-back, Brandon Tanev is now on the third line, and Kapanen isn’t with the team yet. But this is a work of fiction, so I made the details fit what I needed. Also, Casey DeSmith doesn’t exist here bc fuck that abusive piece of shit. 
> 
> Title from Birthday Suit by Cosmo Sheldrake.

Zach Aston-Reese heard his alarm start and groaned as he pulled a pillow over his head. He’d set a song as his alarm to make waking up easier. It hadn’t worked. 

_ “But we both know, the way it’s gonna go,”  _ the singer crooned, interrupted by the beep of a text. Zach uncovered his head and sat up to grab his phone. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and unlocked his phone to see a text from Kelsey Rust. It was a picture of Carl with a caption that read ‘ _ Somebody misses you :(‘ _

Zach sighed and tossed his phone back onto the bedside table. He winced when his shoulder started to throb. It was healed enough to play, but that didn’t mean it was healed enough to not hurt like a motherfucker after getting slammed by more than a few Flyers. The stiff hotel mattress did nothing to help either. 

He had just started to hype himself up to get out of bed when he heard the door to his bathroom open. Zach could see the headline now. ‘ _ Pittsburgh Fourth Liner Sent To The AHL In The Sky; Replaced By Taxi Squad Member Within Ten Minutes’  _ He held his breath as somebody stepped out of the bathroom, fully prepared to die. The person stepped around the corner…

And it was just Zach’s linemate, Brandon Tanev, drying his hair with a hotel towel. 

“How the fuck did you get in here!?” Zach yelled and hurled a pillow in Brandon’s direction.

Brandon dodged it like it was nothing and shrugged. “My water wasn’t working, so I picked the lock.” 

“You could have at least text me first,” Zach grumbled as he pulled himself out of bed and began to search around the floor for his pants. 

“I knew you wouldn’t be awake yet. You sleep in late,” Brandon shrugged again and threw his towel back into the bathroom. 

“Eight AM is not-” Their impending argument was interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“Team breakfast, ZAR,” Bryan Rust called through the door. Zach heard him move down the hall and knock on the door of Brandon’s empty room.

“Great. Now, what is Rusty going to think when we both exit  _ my _ room?” Zach grumbled. He smelled a shirt and decided it was clean enough to wear. 

“Bastard stole my nickname. If he wants to think we’re fucking, let him,” Brandon complained, but he followed it with a smirk, “see you at breakfast!” 

And with that, he breezed out the door, blind to Zach flipping him off on his way out. After Brandon left, Zach took his time as he finished getting ready. He really didn’t want to share an elevator with Brandon or Rusty after that. He double-checked that he had his keycard and put his mask on before he headed out the door. As he made his way past the vending and ice machines, he heard a loud crash. He looked up and saw Brian Dumoulin crouched down, swearing as he tried to shove ice cubes back into the bucket he had dropped. 

“Rough morning, Dumo?” Zach chuckled as he passed. 

Zach continued down the hall past Jared McCann, who had his head on his door in the defeated manner of a man who had locked himself out. Jared had his shirt pulled over his mouth and nose. He must have forgotten his mask  _ and _ his keycard. Zach gave Jared a sympathetic smile. Well. Sympathetic eyes. Tough way to start a game day.

Zach reached the elevator with perfect timing. The doors glided open right as he reached the end of the hall and he stepped in to join Sidney Crosby on the ride down to the chaos of team breakfast. 

“Good morning,” Sid said, eyes crinkling with a smile that Zach couldn’t see. Zach returned the greeting and the smile. 

They didn’t say a word to each other after that. That was okay with Zach. The calm before the storm was never a bad thing.

The elevator came to a stop and they could hear their teammates’ loud laughter and chatter through the elevator doors. The doors started to slide open but stopped halfway. Sid and Zach both frowned at each other and waited a moment to see if anything else would happen. When nothing did, Sid gave the doors a big shove. They opened the rest of the way and Zach breathed a sigh of relief. He stepped out and followed the noise, and smell, to breakfast. 

Zach was about to step inside when Kris Letang grabbed him by the arm and pulled him aside. Zach raised an eyebrow, confused about why Tanger needed to talk to him. 

“Hey, uh,” Kris rubbed the back of his neck and bit his lip awkwardly, “Rusty said that- um. Are you and Tans… y’know…?”

Yeah. He was not going to pass to Brandon tonight. “No. We aren’t.” Zach said as he wished that he was anywhere except here right now. 

“Oh! Okay, good. I mean, not that there’s any problem with- I would still support you no matter what. This is a safe space, you can always tell me anything, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Zach replied before he pulled his arm away and entered the cafeteria. He walked past John Marino, who was ordering an omelette with chicken and some cheese Zach couldn’t pronounce, as he made his way to the back of the line. The line moved with surprising speed, probably because he was a few minutes late, and then he sat down at a table with Teddy Blueger and Tristan Jarry. 

Breakfast passed like normal and Zach thought maybe the insanity of his morning had finally ended when Brandon grabbed him by the arm before he could enter the elevator. He pulled Zach down the hallway and into an empty stairwell. 

“I need to tell you something…” He said after a long moment of silence, which was incredibly odd for Brandon. There was never a moment of silence with the guy. Zach frowned and raised a quizzical eyebrow.

Brandon took a deep breath before he spoke again, “I’m gay.”

Zach stared at him, speechless. Brandon looked at him expectantly. Oh shit, he was supposed to say something, wasn’t he?

“So, you want Rusty to think we’re fucking?”

“I don’t want to fuck you! Jesus, man!” Brandon threw his hands up in exasperation. “I just thought I would tell you because we’re good friends and you wouldn’t be an asshole about it. Apparently, I was wrong. I should have told Teddy instead,” he spat before he turned on his heel and ran up the stairs. 

So, Zach might have said the wrong thing there. He’d never had a teammate come out to him. He’d never had anybody come out to him. What was he supposed to say? Besides, Brandon had obviously said something to Bryan or Kris. Why else would Kris have asked if they were fucking before breakfast? He rolled his eyes and exited the stairway to catch an elevator back to his room. 

After that, the rest of Zach’s day went the same as the day before. Practice, then sit in the hotel room bored as hell until it was time to go to the game. The only difference was that Marino was out of the lineup tonight. He caught food poisoning at breakfast, so one of the taxi squad dudes would be replacing him. Better him than Zach. 

In the crowded elevator on the way down to the lobby, Zach decided he would brave the January weather and walk to the Wells Fargo Center. Last night he had waited forever for the team bus to take many socially distanced trips to the arena. There had been nothing in the NHL’s rules about walking to and from arenas, so he shouldn’t be fined or anything.

He left a little earlier than usual so he could take his sweet time. He popped his earbuds in and put one of his playlists on shuffle, letting some Wallows song flood his ears. Zach frowned when he stepped outside and saw it was already dark. Fucking January. He pulled his coat tighter around him and headed down the street.

Zach was halfway there when something suddenly felt… wrong. He looked around but didn’t see anybody else around. Just a couple of cars that drove carefully down the snow-covered street. He tried to shake it off and tell himself he was just being paranoid. This was only pre-game jitters. However, he still quickened his pace and cast a few extra glances over his shoulder. He took out his earbuds for good measure. 

That was when he noticed the car. 

Zach couldn’t make out what kind of car it was or who was behind the wheel, but it was definitely following him. Its pace was much slower than the other cars and when he had turned the corner, it had followed. Now he was terrified and broke into a sprint. He could see the arena, he was almost to safety! 

Then he felt himself hit a patch of ice and slide. He flew off the curb and landed heavily in the street, all the air knocked out of his lungs. Zach heard a car engine rev and looked up just in time to see headlights speeding at him. He threw his arms up and squeezed his eyes shut as he braced for impact.

* * *

Zach heard his alarm start and sat up with a gasp. “Fuck, was that all a dream?” he whispered to himself as he placed a hand over his rapidly beating heart. 

_ “But we both know, the way it’s gonna go,”  _ the singer crooned, interrupted by the beep of a text. Zach grabbed his phone and unlocked it to see a text from Kelsey Rust. It was a picture of Carl with a caption that read ‘ _ Somebody misses you :(‘ _

He tried to shake off the feeling of deja vu that suddenly overwhelmed him. He’d probably just checked it earlier when he was barely awake or something and didn’t remember it. Yeah, that had to be it. Zach heard the bathroom door open and looked up to see Brandon coming out, drying his hair with a towel.

Okay. Now he was a little freaked. 

“My water wasn’t working, so I picked the lock,” Brandon said. He must have mistaken Zach’s terrified expression for a fear of him being there, not a fear of him being there  _ again _ . 

Zach kicked the covers off to untangle himself and launched his body out of bed. He grabbed whatever pants and shirt were closest, not taking his eyes off of Brandon. 

“Jeez, I didn’t mean to scare you that ba-” Brandon was interrupted by a knock on the door. Zach stared down the door like it had just burst into flames, pale and waiting.

“Team breakfast, ZAR,” Bryan called before he headed down the hall to knock on Brandon’s door. 

Zach pushed past Brandon and ran into the bathroom to turn on the sink. He shoved his face under the freezing water. He stood up with a sputter and scrubbed water out of his eyes. He was still awake. This wasn’t a nightmare. “Fuck!” He shouted. 

“I think I’m going to go now…” Brandon said as he gingerly dropped his towel into the bathroom. He had an odd look on his face like he was trying to decide whether to help Zach or not. “Thanks for having working water!” he said before he made an awkward exit. 

Zach took a moment to calm himself down. He was just overreacting. These were all things that either happened every day or that he could have experienced in a half-awake stupor. Everything was fine. He was just being a drama queen. 

He took a deep breath, grabbed his keycard, put on his mask, and stepped into the hall.

Right on cue, he heard Dumo drop the ice and curse as he tried to scoop it back into the bucket. Zach instantly lost whatever chill he had managed to fake. He sped up when he saw McCann with his head against his door, locked out, defeated, and still maskless. He jumped when the elevator opened the second he got reached the end of the hall and revealed Sid. 

“Good morning,” Sid said, eyes crinkling with a smile Zach couldn’t see. 

Zach took a deep breath and stepped inside. This was all fine. This was just a prank they were all playing on him. He was getting all freaked out just because he had that weird nightmare last night. At breakfast, somebody would reveal the prank and they’d all have a good, long laugh. 

By the time the elevator doors opened, Zach felt much better. This was all a well-planned prank that was probably Brandon’s idea. It was honestly a wonder Sid hadn’t ruined it yet.

Then the elevator doors got stuck.

Sid frowned at Zach and waited a moment to see if anything else would happen. When nothing did, Sid gave the doors a hard shove and they opened the rest of the way. 

Zach felt bile rise in his throat. He pushed past Sid and made a beeline for the bathroom, interrupted by Kris grabbing his arm before he could enter. 

“Hey, uh,” Kris rubbed the back of his neck and bit his lip awkwardly, “Rusty said that- um. Are you and Tans… y’know…?”

“I’m not, he is,” Zach said quickly as he yanked his arm out of Kris’s grip and headed into the cafeteria.

“Wait. What?” Kris called after him, but Zach ignored him. He was near a full-blown panic now. 

Zach looked to his left and saw Marino order the same omelette as yesterday. He made his way to the back of the line as his eyes darted around frantically. Everything was the exact same as it was the day before, from the order of the line down to how many swigs it took Evgeni Malkin to finish his coffee. By the time Zach made it through the fast-moving line and to the table, he was pale and shaky. 

“Are you okay?” Teddy asked with a look of concern.

Zach nodded in reply and started picking at his food. Teddy, graciously a man of few words, didn’t press the issue any further. 

Throughout the rest of breakfast, Zach’s paranoia grew stronger. He would die tonight. He wouldn’t even make it to the game everybody else was talking about. Zach had started to succumb to the insanity of his morning when Brandon grabbed him by the arm before he could enter the elevator. He pulled Zach down the hallway and into an empty stairwell. 

“I need to tell you something…” he started and took a deep, nervous breath. 

“Yes, you’re gay I know,” Zach interrupted, too freaked out right now to be polite or empathetic. 

“Am I that obvious?” Brandon asked, his eyes wide and face pale. 

“I mean, you kissed your old linemate in a food commercial. But that’s beside the point! Can I tell you something?”

“Uh, sure?” Brandon replied with a confused, and slightly hurt, look. 

Zach cast a glance over his shoulder to make sure nobody else was around before he leaned in. “I think I’m going to die tonight,” he said quietly. 

Something about getting those words out made his heart drop into his stomach. It made it feel more real.

He looked up to see Brandon was holding back a laugh.

“It’s just the Flyers, ZAR. They aren’t going to kill anybody. Injure? Probably, but not kill. That’d be at  _ least _ a half-season suspension.”

“No, I don’t think I’m going to make it to the game. I had a dream last night that a car hit me on my way there and I died and then today I wake up and everything is happening exactly the way it happened in my dream and-”

“Woah, woah, calm down,” Brandon grabbed Zach gently by the shoulders, “You won’t die tonight. I’ll stick with you and we’ll take the team bus. You weren’t on the bus when the car killed you, were you?” 

Zach shook his head.

“Then we’ll take the team bus, together, and it’ll all be okay. I promise.”

Brandon kept that promise and stayed with Zach the entire day. Remarkably, they made it not only to the game but through it too without Zach dying. They lost horribly to the Flyers but Zach didn’t give a fuck about that. He had been paranoid over some silly little nightmare combined with some weird deja vu. Now that he had made it way past when he had “died” he could rest easy. 

Zach informed Brandon that he didn’t have to hover anymore and then started to pack up his stuff. He was one of the first people outside to wait for the team bus. He pulled his earbuds out of his pocket and hit shuffle on a random playlist. The same Wallows song from his nightmare began to play. Zach closed his eyes and swayed slightly, too overjoyed with the fact he was still alive to notice the deja vu continued. 

He heard footsteps approach and opened his eyes to greet whichever teammate had come out to join him. Instead, he saw a person in a Gritty mask and black hoodie charge at him, knife in hand.

“Shit shit shit shit shit!” Zach screamed as he dropped his bag and turned to run. He hit a patch of ice and slid off the curb. He hit the ground hard. He rolled over just in time to see a knife come at him.

* * *

Zach heard his alarm start and launched himself out of bed in a panic. He grabbed his chest to check that he was still intact and not bleeding out. 

_ “But we both know, _ ” he heard the singer croon and he grabbed his phone to stare it down as he waited for the text he knew was coming. He heard the beep right on cue and flung himself back across the room. He almost dropped his phone as he rushed to unlock it. Sure enough, it was a picture of Carl with a caption that read ‘ _ Somebody misses you :(‘ _

Zach dropped his phone and buried his hands in his hair. What the fuck was going on!? 

Brandon walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. “My water wasn’t working, so I picked the lock,” he said.

When he looked up and saw Zach panicked in the corner, he frowned. “What’s the matter, dude? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”

Any reply Zach could have given would have been interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“Team breakfast, ZAR,” Bryan called before he headed down the hall to knock on Brandon’s door. 

“Well, fuck. I might as well do this myself,” Zach groaned as he pulled back the curtains and opened his balcony door.

“Do what yourself? Zach?” Brandon called as he followed after him, “Zach, what the fuck! Get off the rail-”

* * *

Zach heard his alarm start and groaned as he pulled a pillow over his head. Why couldn’t he just stay dead? When would this Groundhog’s Day of Hell end? 

_ “But we both know, the way it’s gonna go,”  _ the singer crooned, getting interrupted by a text right on cue. Zach ignored it and burrowed himself even further under the comforter. Maybe if he just stayed in bed the entire day, nothing could get him and he’d be fine. Maybe all of this was the universe’s fucked up way of telling him he wasn’t supposed to play tonight. 

Brandon walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. “My water wasn’t working, so I picked the lock,” he said but stopped in his tracks when he noticed Zach bundled under the blankets. “Uh, are you okay?”

“I think I might have come down with something,” Zach replied in his best fake sick voice. If it fooled his mother, it was sure to fool his linemate. 

Brandon threw the towel into the bathroom and took three steps back. “Woah, dude. This is only the second game. Don’t start a Covid outbreak on the team already.”

“I don’t think it is- don’t tell anybody it’s Covid!” 

But Brandon didn’t pay any attention. He had already thrown open the door and startled Bryan as he fled. 

“Um? Team breakfast?” Bryan said as he carefully stuck his head in, “Woah, you look like shit. Are you sick?”

“No. Worse,” Zach sighed as he untangled himself from the comforter. 

“Injured?”

“Come in and let me explain.”

Bryan closed the door gently and sat down on the desk chair. “Is this a coming out?” He asked as he eyed Zach suspiciously. 

“What!? No. Why would you- Oh. We aren’t a thing. No, Brandon was using my shower because his was broken”

“I’m pretty sure that breaks Covid protocol…”

“We’re breaking it right now. I think I’m stuck in a time loop,” Zach said quickly. He didn’t want to waste any more time discussing what was and wasn’t breaking protocol or what was happening between him and Brandon (nothing). 

Bryan didn’t look surprised at all. “That happened to a guy I knew in college.”

Zach’s face lit up. Was this hope he was feeling? Would Bryan finally have the answers he needed? 

“Well, how did he get out of it?”

Bryan looked down at the floor and mumbled something. 

“I didn’t catch that. Again?”

“He had to fuck all his teammates,” Bryan repeated, his eyes fixed on the floor. 

Zach stared at him, mouth agape. Fuck. He had a lot of teammates. Especially if the taxi squad was considered part of the team.

“Like each individually or…?” Zach finally spoke, stunned.

“All at once. An orgy.”

“Jesus christ…” Zach exhaled slowly through his teeth. Dudes were not his thing, but neither was dying repeatedly. “Wow. Okay. Well. If it gets me to stop dying, I guess I’ll do it.”

“Wait, you keep dying?” Bryan leaned forward with a concerned look, “That didn’t happen to him. I don’t think an orgy can fix that kind of loop.”

“Goddammit!” Zach grabbed his phone and threw it at the wall, hard. He heard a cracking sound and looked up in time to see the ceiling crumble and fall straight down on him. 

* * *

“Fuck!” Zach swore as he jolted awake. He looked cautiously at the ceiling before he carefully grabbed his phone and got out of bed. He set his phone onto the desk as he searched around on the floor for clothes.

_ “But we both know, the way it’s gonna go,”  _ the singer crooned, getting interrupted by a text right on cue. Zach unlocked his phone and took a moment to look at the picture of Carl he’d been sent. He started to doubt that he would get to see his son, his precious little puppy, ever again. He sent Kelsey a text back to ask for more pictures. 

Right on cue, Brandon walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. “My water wasn’t working, so I picked the lock,” he said.

Zach just sighed in response.

“Is everything okay? I thought you would have more of a reaction to an unexpected person in your hotel room.”

Zach set his phone down. “Yeah, everything is fine. I’m just having a hard time because I’m stuck in a-”

He was interrupted by Bryan’s knock on the door. 

“Team breakfast, ZAR,” Bryan called before he headed down the hall to knock on Brandon’s door. 

Zach sighed again and hung his head in defeat. “Look. I’ll tell you after breakfast, okay?”

Brandon frowned. “Why not right-”

“After breakfast. When you tell me your thing.”

“My thing?” Brandon’s frown deepened. “Wait. How did you-?”

“After breakfast!” Zach repeated as he pushed Brandon out the door and slammed it behind him. 

Zach looked down at his phone and saw Kelsey had sent him a video of Carl. He smiled weakly as he watched it, then took a deep breath, pocketed his phone, grabbed his keycard, put on his mask, and stepped into the hall.

He heard Dumo drop the ice and curse as he tried to scoop it back into the bucket. Zach kicked a few loose ice cubes back into the vending machine nook as he walked past. He looked up and saw McCann with his head against his door, locked out, defeated, and still maskless. He smiled when the elevator opened the second he got there and revealed Sid. 

“Good morning,” Sid said, eyes crinkling with a smile Zach couldn’t see.

Zach returned the greeting and checked his phone again. A few more pictures of Carl, this time out in the snow in his favorite sweater. The elevator coasted to a stop at their floor and Zach pocketed his phone. The doors opened halfway, got stuck, and Sid pushed them open the rest of the way, just like every day. 

Then the routine broke. Zach made it safely into the cafeteria without being stopped by Kris and asked about his relationship with Brandon. He frowned to himself, but moved to the back of the breakfast line, past Marino ordering his usual, food poisoning bearing omelette. 

Zach had barely sat down to eat his breakfast when Brandon grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out into the hall.

“I said after breakfast! I didn’t get a bite of breakfast,” Zach whined. If he was going to die today, the least Brandon could do was let him enjoy breakfast. 

Brandon leaned in. “How do you know I’m gay?” He whispered and cast a look around to check that the gaggle of goalies by the elevator weren’t eavesdropping. 

“Because you’ve told me!”

“When!? I don’t remember ever telling you this.”

“Yesterday. I mean today but like, an alternate today,” Zach said, “I’m stuck in a time loop, I keep dying, and Bryan said I have to have an orgy to fix it!” he cried, fed up, hungry, and depressed.

Now the gaggle of goalies by the elevators looked at them. Brandon gave them an apologetic look and pulled Zach into the nearest bathroom. Brandon yanked him into a stall and made him sit down.    
  


“Are you drunk? Should I make you vomit?” Brandon asked. His face showed suspicion and confusion. “Did somebody check you in the head last night?”

Zach sighed and buried his head in his hands. “I know this sounds crazy, but you have to believe me because you believed me last time I said this and everything always happens the exact same every day.”

“So let me get this straight. You’re stuck in a time loop?”

“Yes.”

“And you die every time?”

“Yeah.”

“But to fix this, you have to have an orgy? Presumably with the team?”

“Kind of. Bryan said that’s what helped his college teammate who was stuck in a time loop, but his teammate didn’t have the death part,” Zach explained.

“Hm,” Brandon said and bit his lower lip as he thought, “And you’re the only one who remembers the previous loops?”

“Yep.”

“Let’s go to Janko’s room. I think he can help,” Brandon grabbed Zach’s arm and dragged him to the elevator and up to Mark Jankowski’s room.

Mark opened the door with a frown. “Can I help you?”

“Code September 1958,” Brandon whispered.

“A body swap?” Mark gasped as he looked between Brandon and Zach. “Who is who?” he whispered in awe as he stared intensely at Zach. 

“Shit, sorry. Code November 1958,” Brandon corrected.

  
  
“A time loop?” Mark frowned. Zach nodded, unsure what the fuck he was being dragged into right now. Some weird Providence shit, apparently. 

“A deadly time loop?” Mark gasped and his eyes widened with shock. 

Zach nodded again.

“Did somebody already tell you an orgy wouldn’t work?”

“Yes. Rusty did in my last loop.”

“Have you tried fucking everybody individually?”

“Why do you all keep suggesting sex with the team!?” Zach demanded. He was fed up with this solution that felt like it was pulled right from a bad hockey porno. 

“Because curses make you feel like your life is being written by a really horny author for an audience that is even hornier,” Mark shrugged and opened the door to let them in properly. “Wait until you have to fuck yourself to get back into your own body,” he said with a shudder. 

“Well, I don’t want a horny author!” Zach whined and threw himself dramatically into Mark’s desk chair. “Why are we even here?” He asked as he turned his annoyance to Brandon. This was a load of bullshit. Mark didn’t actually know how to help. He just knew what everybody knew about college hockey curses.

“You wanted help and Mark’s family has a lot of experience with this stuff,” Brandon shrugged as he opened the mini-fridge to see if Mark had anything good, or strong, to drink. 

“Back before the mascots, curses happened constantly. Why do you think curses are more common in college hockey and world tournaments? There are no mascots,” Mark explained, like that helped Zach solve his problem at all. 

“So, I have to fuck to fix this then?” 

“Not necessarily. Do you have unrequited feelings for anybody on the team?” Mark asked as he sat across from Zach and leaned in. Zach felt like he was being interrogated. 

“I don’t think I do? I don’t even like guys.”

“Are you certain?” Mark asked with a scrutinizing look. 

Zach thought about the boy from his freshman year poetry class for a second but quickly sent that thought back to the recesses of his mind where it belonged. 

“Fairly certain,” he responded and crossed his arms. 

“Well, that might be a problem. Is anybody on the team in love with you?” Mark continued his interrogation.

Zach glanced over at Brandon and noticed he had an odd, far-away look on his face. Yeah, he always had a far-away look, but this was different. This looked almost… hurt. As soon as Brandon noticed his stare, it was gone. 

“I just told you I’m gay. That doesn’t mean I’m in love with you,” Brandon said and held his hands up defensively. “You’re hot, bud, but I don’t want to hit it.”

“Brandon is in love with Ada-” Mark was interrupted by Brandon hitting him squarely in the face with a pillow. 

Zach rolled his eyes. He didn’t have time to mess around like this. His death lurked around every corner and could happen at any moment. 

“So what should I do to break this then?” Zach’s question interrupted the friendly fight that had broken out on Mark’s bed. 

“Uh…” Mark replied eloquently and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “Well. Since you’re the only one who remembers what happens each day, figure out if somebody is in love with you. It’s possible you’ve been oblivious to it and you’re cursed until you figure it out.”

“Yeah, ZAR. Just start going around kissing people,” Brandon laughed as he tossed a pillow at Zach. 

Zach caught it and tackled Brandon back onto the bed. “If you don’t shut up, I’ll fuck you tomorrow.”

“Ha! Like I would ever let you. I have more self-respect than that!”

Unfortunately, their friendly squabble and the fight that followed kept either one of them from noticing that the balcony door had slid open and a figure in a black hoodie and a Gritty mask had snuck in. The figure stabbed Mark repeatedly in the chest as Brandon pummeled Zach with a pillow. 

Zach uncovered his head just in time to see the Gritty figure over Brandon’s shoulder, bloody knife raised high. 

“Fuck!” Zach screamed and shoved Brandon off of him. He rolled off the bed and landed directly onto Mark’s body with a terrified shriek. 

Zach pulled himself to his feet and darted past the Gritty figure, who had a hold of Brandon, towards the door. He grabbed the handle and yanked. The door wouldn’t open.

“Come on, come on,” Zach whispered as he pulled on the door again and again. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Brandon drop to the floor, dead. The masked Gritty figure started to advance upon him wordlessly. 

Zach kicked the door and miraculously, it opened. He lost his balance, surprised, and fell right at the feet of Jason Zucker. 

“Woah, ZAR, are you okay? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” Jason exclaimed as he leaned down to offer Zach a hand up. 

Zach felt something grab his ankle and then he was dragged back into Mark’s room as he screamed and desperately tried to grab hold of Jason’s hand.

* * *

Zach woke up still screaming. Brandon rushed out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped loosely around his hips. 

“What’s wrong!?” He asked, eyes wide with alarm and concern. 

Zach jumped out of bed and yanked Brandon into a kiss. Brandon flailed with a muffled protest and dropped his towel before he managed to shove Zach off of him.

“What the fuck!?” He yelled.

“Oh, good. You don’t want to fuck me,” Zach said causally with a glance down at Brandon’s crotch. He grabbed his usual clothes off the ground and started to dress. Brandon turned bright red and grabbed his towel and wrapped it hurriedly around his waist. 

“What are you talking about? Are you feeling okay?” Brandon asked as he eyed Zach suspiciously. 

“Yes. Go get dressed and then I’ll explain everything.”

Twenty minutes and a few more ‘what the fucks’ later, Zach had told Brandon about the loop, his deaths, and how he had to investigate the team for who was in love with him.

“We need to make a plan,” Brandon said, his jaw set with determination. 

“A plan? For what?” Zach asked as he checked his watch. They’d missed the elevator with Sid. 

“You have what? Thirty guys to get through? I can’t imagine you want to waste thirty more days and thirty more deaths to figure this out. So we need a plan to get through as many guys in a day as possible,” Brandon explained, “Duh.”

“You’re making me a slut schedule?”

“I was going to call it a romantic to-do list, but yeah. This is your dating sim, Zach. Now, you have four chances before you even get to breakfast. You can swoop in on Dumo and catch that ice bucket to woo him with your skills. You can give Jared a mask and invite him back to your room while he waits for a new room key. You’re alone in an elevator with Sid, so do with that what you will. Then you’re alone in a hallway with Tanger, just give him a smooth pick-up line and pick a closet.” 

“I’m concerned with how much thought you’ve put into this,” Zach frowned.

“I was a great matchmaker in college. I’ll give you more advice after breakfast. Time’s ticking, go out and get ‘em, tiger!” Brandon shoved a mask into Zach’s hand and pushed him towards the door.

“But wait! This is my-” Brandon slammed the door shut in his face, “Room,” Zach finished with a sigh. 

Zach gave himself a mental pep talk and then began his quest to figure out who on the team was in love with him so he could break this damn curse. 

_ This will be fine _ , Zach thought as he rode the empty elevator down to breakfast. He’d kiss a few of the boys, figure out who was in love with him, and nobody would ever know a thing unless he told them. It might even stop the dreams he still had of his college roommate. 

He had missed Brian, Jared, and Sid already, but when he stepped out of the elevator he spotted Kris hanging around outside the cafeteria door. He must have waited for Zach. 

_ Now or never, right?  _ Zach fixed his shirt, checked his breath, and approached Kris with smiling eyes. 

“Hey, uh,” Kris rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly when he saw Zach approach, “Rusty said that- um. Are you and Tans… y’know…?”

“No, we aren’t,” Zach said, “I have my sights set on somebody else,” he dropped his voice to a husky whisper and gently grabbed Kris’ bicep. 

Somehow that technique worked and he found himself fumbling around in a dark supply closet with his hands all over Kris’ body. 

So maybe this was more than a little kiss. 

When Zach had collected himself and stepped out of the closet, Brandon was waiting outside the door. Zach jumped when Brandon grabbed his arm.

“Two down, only twenty-eight-ish to go!” Brandon said cheerfully.

“Jesus fuck, man! You scared the shit out of me! Why were you just standing outside?” Zach gasped before he took a deep breath to bring his heart rate back down. With his luck, he would die of a freak heart attack due to this. 

“I brought you food,” Brandon said as he passed Zach a takeout box full of breakfast food and a to-go cup of coffee, “Figured you wouldn’t be making it to breakfast today. Do you know who you’re going after next?” A strange look passed quickly over Brandon’s face when he asked that question.

Zach took the food and sighed as they stepped into the elevator. “No, I don’t. I literally just got done with number one.”

“Technically I was number one. You kissed me first,” Brandon corrected with a self-satisfied look.

Zach rolled his eyes in response. 

  
“And I knew you would say that. So I made a list at breakfast. Post-practice, pre-game you don’t want to get too frisky, so I recommend going for Zucker or Teddy. Zucker will politely decline,” Brandon said as they stepped out of the elevator and onto their floor, “And I can’t see it going any further than a kiss with Teddy. He’s pretty calm and quiet.”

“You know what they say about the quiet ones,” Zach said as he slid his keycard into his door.

“What?” Brandon asked, confused. 

“They’re always the freaks,” Zach answered and closed his door with a smug smirk. There was his payback for Brandon slamming the door in his face earlier. 

After practice, he took Brandon’s advice and tried his hand with Jason Zucker. Jason gave a polite smile in response to Zach’s pick-up line.

“I’m sorry, but I’m very much in love with my wife,” he said, “But I can help you find somebody else if you’re lonely. Have you tried Brandon?” Jason asked. 

Zach apologized, embarrassed, and made his way out of the hotel lobby. So Brandon had been right. But what should he do now? He still had a few hours before he needed to get ready for the game. If he even made it that long. Zach let his feet guide him and ended up walking around the outside of the hotel. He found a garden and a fountain, which surprised him since they were in downtown Philly. As he drew closer to the fountain, he noticed Tristan Jarry was sitting on the edge of it as he swiped on his phone. 

Zach did his usual routine: straighten clothes, breath check, smile with eyes, and then he effortlessly sat down beside Tristan. 

“Looking for Tinder matches?” he teased.

“No!” Tristan fumbled with his phone, startled by Zach’s arrival. 

“If you’re lonely, I have a match right here. You won’t even be breaking quarantine rules,” Zach dropped his voice and fluttered his eyelashes. Tristan blushed and looked away, but moved closer so their thighs were touching. 

Oh shit. Maybe Zach was already about to break this loop. Tristan seemed interested.

“Can I kiss you?” Zach whispered, bringing his hand up to Tristan’s cheek and tilting his head up. Tristan nodded and Zach moved in to close the gap between them. Their lips had just touched when they both found themselves in the fountain. 

Zach surfaced from the freezing water with a sputter to see the masked Gritty figure beside him. He tried to jump out of the fountain, but the figure dragged him back under the water. Zach kicked and flailed as he struggled to escape but slowly everything… went… black.

* * *

Zach woke up and coughed water out of his lungs. He stared at the puddle of water on his sheets, alarmed. Odd. That had never happened before. 

He didn’t get much time to reflect on what the fuck that was about before Brandon rushed out of the bathroom in a panic to check on him. Perfect. He needed to tell Brandon about the loop quickly if he was going to follow the plan they had come up with yesterday. 

Zach assured Brandon he was alright and then explained the entire situation, including getting with the entire team, in under four minutes. Surprisingly, Brandon believed him.

“So Bryan is going to knock on the door soon and you’re going to use that as your chance to fu-”

“See if he is secretly in love with me,” Zach corrected.

“Just say you’re going to fuck him,” Brandon said with an annoyed sigh, “And afterward you’re going to try Marino?”

“I need you to keep him from ordering an omelette,” Zach said, “Now go before Rusty knocks!”

Zach realized he had never told Brandon about Marino and the whole food poisoning thing, but Brandon was a smart guy. He’d figure it out. Not even a minute after he left, the usual knock came on Zach’s door. Dammit, he hadn’t gotten to brush his teeth yet. 

“Team break- Jesus!” Bryan exclaimed when Zach hurled the door open and dragged him in.

“I think we can be a little late,” Zach whispered huskily as he leaned in. Bryan’s pupils widened with desire.

“Are you feeling okay?” Bryan asked, but he didn’t make any effort to move or shove Zach away.

“Never better,” he replied and the next thing he knew, Bryan’s lips were on his as they made a clumsy waltz towards the bed. Bryan shoved him down onto the bed and straddled him before he pulled him into another long kiss. 

Oh, sweet Jesus. Was Bryan going to be the one that was secretly in love with him? This was going to make things really awkward when Zach went to pick up Carl…

Bryan stopped suddenly, hand on Zach’s waistband. “We should stop here,” he said.

“Oh. Yeah, that’s fine,” Zach said, thoughts clouded with lust. Shit, was  _ he _ secretly in love with Bryan? 

“I mean, we should wait for Kelsey.”

Zach’s mind cleared instantly as he gaped at Bryan. “Kelsey?” he sputtered.

“Yeah?” Bryan replied, “We’ve been meaning to ask you if you wanted to have a threesome with us for a few months now, but I thought you wouldn’t want to get with a guy. Obviously I was mistaken,” he shrugged like this was a casual thing to drop on somebody.

“Obviously,” Zach whispered, still in shock from the whole threesome thing and the fact he might seriously be into guys, or at least Bryan, now. Jesus Christ, this loop better end soon. Who knows what he’d learn, about his teammates or himself, next. 

“We can wait for Kelsey,” Zach added when he noticed Bryan was patiently waiting for an answer. 

“Great! Just let us know whenever you’re down,” Bryan grinned and ruffled Zach’s hair before he left. 

What an insane start to another weird day. 

Zach checked the time. Shit, he was going to miss Marino. He hurriedly brushed his teeth as he got dressed and tried to fix his appearance. He grabbed his mask, took off out the door, and made a mad dash down the stairs.

He made it to the cafeteria out of breath to see Brandon was chatting up a storm to Marino by the coffee station. Marino looked like he wanted to be anywhere else right now. Perfect. Zach could easily take him somewhere else. 

“Hey Brandon, could you give us a moment?” Zach said as he slid into their conversation with his most charming look.

“Sure thing. See you around,” Brandon winked at Zach as he left. Zach realized too late that he didn’t really have a plan to seduce Marino. The kid’s seriousness usually kept Zach from speaking to him any more than he had to. This made Marino a likely candidate for the in-love-with-Zach-but-Zach-is-oblivious-to-it position. 

“Did you know this hotel has a garden? With a fountain?” Zach said, like an idiot. “Would you like to come to check it out with me?” 

Marino gave him a long, emotionless look as he stirred creamer into his coffee. “I have nothing better to do. Sure,” he finally said. 

Zach let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. Hopefully, he wouldn’t die this time. 

…

Zach didn’t die in the garden this time. Had a small scare when a chipmunk rustled in the hedge they had found themselves in. The hedge was not the only thing Zach had found himself in. Somehow though, they’d made it to practice early and Marino was still the first person on the ice. 

After practice, Zach ended up in Chad Ruhwedel’s room. They ended up just talking, which was totally fine with Zach. His day had been busy enough already. He remained alive through the entire game against the Flyers, which they remarkably won. Apparently, Marino made that big of a difference. Zach made a mental note of that for all his future loops. Unless this was the last one and Bryan or Marino had been what Zach had needed to break the loop. Only midnight would tell.

When they got back to the lobby after the game, Zach stood by the elevator. On the team bus, Geno had told him to wait there for him. Zach wasn’t about to say no to Evgeni Malkin. 

“Hey, have you seen Sid at all?” Jake Guentzel asked him, a worried look on his face. 

Zach shook his head. “Are you sure he isn’t back in his room already?”

“He was still at the arena when I left…” Jake frowned but moved on to ask the newest gaggle of Pens to enter the lobby if they had seen their captain. 

As he waited for Geno, Zach took time to reflect on the day. He had a good feeling that Bryan was the one and the loop would be broken today. Yeah, he had hooked up with a couple of others today, but that was as a precaution in case he was wrong. He didn’t want to die fifteen million more times, so he stuck to his slut schedule despite what his gut told him. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Geno cleared his throat. Zach looked up and saw the elevator doors had opened to reveal an impatient Geno.

“You come?” he asked. 

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Zach replied with an apologetic smile. As he took a step towards the elevator, the doors decided to slide shut of their own accord. Zach jumped back in alarm. Jeez, he was still a death magnet. He was about to breathe a sigh of relief when he noticed his tie was stuck in the elevator doors.

Oh shit.

“Geno! Geno! Open the doors!” Zach cried and banged on the elevator door in a panic. To his horror, the elevator started to rise and tightened the knot of his tie before he could even attempt to undo it. 

The last thing Zach remembered was his feet lifting off the ground.

* * *

Zach started his morning the same way he had for the past seventeen days. The only new thing was the black eye he had as a result of a punch from Mike Matheson that freakishly killed him. After that, it was receive the Carl text, Brandon in his bathroom, Bryan knocking on his door. Today he gave Brandon a longer rundown of what he was doing, which included a full list of who he had gotten with already. The slut schedule Brandon had given him on that first day had begun to dwindle 

“Today’s slutty agenda: Dumo, Teddy, Ceci, and Jake,” Brandon reminded with a wink as he left Zach’s room. Zach rolled his eyes but followed. He had to have perfect timing if their plan to seduce Brian was going to work. 

He checked his watch as he walked down the hallway.  _ Three, two, one… _

Zach dove into the little vending machine nook and caught the ice bucket that had slipped from Brian’s hands. 

“Careful there. You might drop something,” Zach said as he handed the bucket back to Brian with a wink. 

Brian looked at him, stunned and amazed. “Holy shit. Did they give you incredible reflexes with your shoulder surgery?”

“Nah, that’s au naturale. Want to see some more of my natural reflexes?” Zach leaned against the vending machine with a flirty air. 

Brian thought it over for a second, then pinned Zach to the vending machine. “Is that so?” he whispered.

Zach leaned in to kiss Brian when he felt the vending machine move. He turned and the last thing he saw was the vending machine toppling on top of them. 

* * *

  
  


“You know, being crushed by a vending machine is a more common death than you think,” Brandon said as they left Zach’s room. “It’s more likely than getting killed by a shark, statistically speaking.”

“That doesn’t really make me feel much better,” Zach replied as he painfully stretched out his shoulders. This lingering death effect shit had started to irritate him. 

He and Brandon shared an elevator with Sidney on the way down, as per usual. Doors stuck, check. Dodge Kris and stop Marino from getting food poisoning, check. Get safely into the breakfast line, check. Zach went down his daily checklist before he took his usual seat between Tristan and Teddy. 

Zach had discovered a few loops ago that Teddy was a hard nut to crack, so he used breakfast to lay down some subtle flirting groundwork. Two loops before he’d ruined his chances with Teddy by being too overt. He’d follow up with more during practice and hopefully reap the benefits before the game. 

After breakfast, he ended up in a stairway with Cody Ceci, but that wasn’t too remarkable. They just awkwardly made out like they were inexperienced freshmen in high school. Zach showered afterward and then caught the team bus to practice with Brandon. He filled him in on all the juicy details of the day on the ride.

…

Sometimes, Zach hated being right. He had this thought while he was tied up in Teddy Blueger’s hotel room. Brandon owed him something for being right about the quiet ones being the freaks, even if he didn’t remember he had doubted Zach. 

Zach had learned a few things about himself. 

He had questioned if Teddy knew he was flirting with him when they arrived back at the hotel, but Teddy wasted no time letting Zach know exactly what he was about. Zach had started off blindfolded with Teddy’s tie, then ended up bent over the bed, then on the bathroom sink, and finally, he ended up tied to the bed frame.

The entire time Teddy didn’t say a single unnecessary word. But that was okay. Zach was loud enough for both of them. He really hoped this wouldn’t break the loop or else he’d have to give a really awkward apology to Evan Rodrigues and Marcus Pettersson. 

“You’re quiet off the ice too, huh?” Zach said to fill the silence while Teddy dug through his bag.

“Yep,” Teddy replied as he pulled something out with a frown. 

“What are you looking for?” Zach asked, excited at the thought of what else Teddy could bring out. 

So maybe he had discovered a  _ lot  _ of things about himself. 

“My clothes. We only have fifteen minutes before the last bus leaves for the game.”

“Shit! Can you untie me?” Zach asked, all of his lust replaced by panic. 

Teddy gave him a look that sent shivers down Zach’s spine. 

“Please?” Zach begged. Teddy smirked and untied him. 

Zach grabbed his clothes, made it back to his hotel room, dressed, and made it onto the team bus in record time. He collapsed onto the seat beside Brandon, out of breath. Brandon looked at him and his eyes widened. 

“Hey, uh, Zach?” 

“What’s up?” Zach asked, still breathless. 

“You should probably button your collar up the whole way. You have, uh,” Brandon checked around to make sure nobody else was paying them any attention, “you have hand-shaped bruises on your neck,” he whispered. 

“Fuck!” Zach swore quietly and moved to button his collar, but Brandon grabbed his wrists and forced Zach’s hands back down.

“Your wrists are even worse. What did you do with Teddy!?” Brandon whispered, his eyes even wider now. 

“Too much,” Zach replied, grateful for the mask that covered his blush. 

Brandon leaned across the seat and buttoned Zach’s collar for him. He slipped his own tie off and tied it around Zach’s neck to complete the look.

“There. Now you look respectable,” Brandon said with a wink.

“Aww, that’s the nicest way anybody has ever told me I looked like a whore,” Zach said before he pretended to wipe away mock tears. 

Brandon rolled his eyes fondly and turned back to the window. 

The game went incredibly well. They won, thanks to Marino, and Zach began to predict the Flyers’ plays. He ended up with a hat trick tonight, along with four assists. The masked Gritty figure that kept killing him could suck it! If he was going to die each day, at least Zach could watch Carter Hart cry and laugh in Travis Konecny’s dumb rat face before he kicked the bucket.

After the game, he flirted with Jake Guentzel as they waited for the team bus. Zach was midway through a whispered sweet and flirty comment when he was interrupted by a shout.

“You motherfucker!” 

Zach looked up to see Cody Ceci drop his bags as he sprinted towards him. He had no time to react before he was getting slammed into the cold pavement. He tried to roll away, but Cody pinned him between his thighs. 

“You’re a cheating, spineless, weak son of a bitch! How many other guys on the team are you sleeping with?” Cody asked before he grabbed Zach’s hands and pinned him to the icy concrete. 

Teddy, who watched the whole ordeal from nearby, quickly looked the other way and moved farther away from them. 

“Surely we can sort this out without fighting. We’re a team, right?” Jake said in an attempt to de-escalate the situation. Cody shot him a deadly glare. 

“Okay, never mind. Sorry. Deal with this how you need to,” Jake apologized as he grabbed his stuff and moved far away. 

Zach was about to get his shit rocked real bad, but that wouldn’t stop him from putting up a fight. He brought his knee up and took Cody by surprise, which allowed him to free his wrists from Cody’s painful grip. Zach rolled away and got to his feet. Before he could run he was brought down again by a hand around his ankle. He attempted to roll again and when that failed, covered his face. Zach braced himself for a punch, but nothing came except a scream from the direction of the arena. 

He yanked himself to his feet and made a dash for the edge of the curb, grateful for whoever had screamed at the sight of the fight. Then Zach noticed the screaming hadn’t stopped. He looked up and saw Geno stumble out of the arena in shock, drenched in blood. The screaming, which Zach realized was coming from inside the arena, cut off with a horrific guttural sound. It was replaced by the horrified gasps of everybody outside.

Zach hit the pavement again, Cody’s body weight knocking all the air from his lungs. Jesus dude! Was now really the time to continue this? 

Zach looked up and saw the masked Gritty figure appear behind Geno. As he opened his mouth to scream a warning, he heard the team bus honk and turned just in time to see it rushing towards him. His scream turned to one of terror. 

* * *

After the incident with Cody, Zach decided to leave Brandon’s slut schedule behind and only seduce one teammate a day. Thankfully he only had a handful of guys left to investigate. 

His deaths kept getting more and more absurd. The chandelier in the lobby fell on him when he was coming back from a game a la  _ Phantom of the Opera,  _ then he got beaned in the head with a golf ball by Jared McCann and bled to death on the shitty hotel carpet and finally, he slipped on a banana peel outside the cafe and died on a different, but still shitty, hotel carpet.

But now he only had two people left on his list. At most he only had to die two more times. After the previous thirty-something times he had died, that was nothing. Zach knocked on Mark Jankowski’s door. Hopefully this time nobody would get stabbed. 

Mark let him in and Zach followed his usual routine: check the breath, fix the clothes, charming smile, low whisper, make out time. After they’d been making out for a few minutes, Mark pulled away suddenly. 

“I just remembered a guy we knew in college who would know how to fix this!” Mark exclaimed.

Zach gave him an incredibly puzzled look. How did Mark know what was going on? Fuck, did Mark remember the loops too!?

“Brandon told me all about what’s going on with you,” Mark answered Zach’s expression as he leaned over to grab his phone from the bedside table. 

He grabbed it in just the right way to tear the charger. The now exposed wire hit the sheets perfectly right and set them afire. They quickly went up in a ball of flame. Zach jumped away and made a beeline for the balcony door, only to find it locked from the outside. He pulled and tugged on it as he coughed from the smoke that was quickly filling the small room. He heard a knock on the glass and looked up to see the masked Gritty figure, who gave him a taunting wave from out on the balcony. 

Zach flipped it off before he collapsed into a coughing fit and everything faded to black. 

* * *

  
  


He had no leads and only one person left to investigate. Sidney Crosby, the man who seemed like he had never felt an attraction to another human in his life. This was a job for after breakfast. 

Zach remained in bed for a few minutes longer than usual, letting his alarm play out. 

_ “But we both know, the way it’s gonna go,”  _ the singer crooned, getting interrupted by a text tone right on cue. Zach unlocked his phone and smiled at the picture of Carl. It was the same every day, but it still warmed his heart. Today he saved it and posted it to Carl’s Instagram. Maybe this small thing would trigger some sort of domino effect that would help him survive. He glanced at the time on his phone and frowned. Brandon should have come out of the bathroom by now. No matter what happened in the morning, that was always consistent.

Zach got out of bed and carefully made his way towards the bathroom door. 

“Brandon? You good?” He called. 

When he didn’t get a reply, he sighed and grabbed the bathroom door handle. 

* * *

Zach woke up with a gasp and felt his entire body tingling. 

_ “But we both know, the way it’s gonna go,”  _ the singer crooned before getting interrupted by the Carl text. Zach left it alone, too preoccupied with his 100 miles per hour heartbeat. 

Brandon walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. “My water wasn’t working, so I picked the- woah! What happened to you last night?” he asked, staring at Zach’s head.

“What do you mean?” Zach asked, confused.

“Your hair is standing straight up. Did you get into a fight with your comforter and it won?”

Zach groaned and tried to fix his hair. 

Brandon frowned. “You’re fighting a losing battle there, bud. How did you even do this?” He tsked and started to comb his fingers through Zach’s hair in an attempt to tame it.

Oh, joy. It was time to explain everything to Brandon again. Zach let out a heavy, defeated sigh and started to get dressed.

“For the past, oh I don’t know, forty-five days, I’ve been stuck in a loop. I keep repeating everything, yes, like Groundhog’s Day.”

“How did you know I was gonna say Ground-” Brandon was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Team breakfast, ZAR,” Bryan called before he headed down the hall to knock on Brandon’s door. 

Zach grabbed two masks, one for him and one to toss to Jared, then threw a baseball cap on to cover his hair. “Walk with me,” he said as he headed for the door.

“This is insane. You know you sound insane, right? A time loop?” Brandon rambled as they made their way down the hall. “How did you even get stuck in one? How do you get out of it?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. We went to Mark a while ago and he told me to- hold that thought,” Zach dove into the vending machine nook and one-handedly caught the ice bucket that had tumbled out of Brian’s hands. 

Brian looked at him, stunned and amazed. “Holy shit. Did they give you incredible reflexes with your shoulder surgery?”

“You’re welcome, Dumo,” Zach chuckled as he passed the ice bucket back before he rejoined Brandon. 

“Where was I? Oh yeah. Mark suggested I fuck the team,” Zach continued. 

“Janko suggested what!?” Brandon gasped before he looked at Zach with a morbid curiosity. 

“I didn’t actually fuck everybody! It was just making out. Okay, I may have fucked a couple...:”

“Who!?” Brandon demanded.

Zach ignored the question and kept talking, “I haven’t done anything with Sid. I haven’t gotten the chance to yet.”

“Am I the best on the team?” Brandon lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. 

“You didn’t even let me kiss you. Said you weren’t interested. I respected that,” Zach replied with a shrug.

“Oh…” Brandon said with a peculiar look.

“Tanger was the best kisser. Teddy was the best at… yeah. Hey McCann!” Zach called and tossed a mask to Jared when he got his attention. “Geno has your other key. He stole it to play a prank on you.”

“Oh, uh. Thanks, ZAR,” Jared replied, baffled. At least he looked a little less dejected.

“So you think Sid is the one that will break the curse?” Brandon got right back into it.

“I don’t know,” Zach sighed. “Maybe I just had to get with the whole team to break it.”

“I’m a little jealous,” Brandon said, “Not of the dying part, but that you got to whore around with no consequences. I mean, you could do whatever you wanted! You could go anywhere you want, do anything you want, try everything, and see how it affects your day. You could be a total dick and nobody would remember!”

“I think that’s what got me into this situation,” Zach mumbled. “The elevator doors are about to open and Sid will be in there, so hold all your questions until we’re alone.”

The elevator doors opened the second they reached them, to Brandon’s amazement. 

“Wow…” he whispered.

“Good morning,” Sid said, eyes crinkling with a smile they couldn’t see.

They returned the greeting and stepped into the elevator. They rode in silence on the way down, but Zach could tell Brandon was about to burst with more questions. They drifted to a stop and the doors got stuck, just as they always did. Sid stepped forward and pushed them open the rest of the way. 

Zach grabbed Brandon’s arm before he could follow Sid out of the elevator. “Before I enter the cafeteria Tanger is going to stop me and ask if we are sleeping together. If we enter together, he is going to assume the answer to that question is ‘yes’. I don’t want you to be outed to the whole team, so go ahead of me,” he explained. 

“I take it I told you I’m gay in a past loop?” Brandon asked quietly. 

“In quite a few loops. Don’t worry about it. It’s totally cool with me. I’ll finish explaining things in a few minutes.” Zach gave Brandon a small push out of the elevator and waited until he was safely in the cafeteria before he followed.

Sure enough, Kris grabbed Zach’s arm as he was about to enter the room. 

“Hey, uh,” Kris rubbed the back of his neck and bit his lip awkwardly, “Rusty said that- um. Are you and Tans… y’know…?

“No. Funny you mention it, I’m actually interested in Rusty,” Zach said with a chuckle. He easily pulled away from the slightly stunned Kris and made his way towards the back of the breakfast line.

“Don’t eat that,” he said as he passed Marino, “The eggs are rotten.”

Marino gave him an odd look but still set the plate down. Thank god, they only won if they had Marino. 

When Zach made it through the line and to the table, he noticed both Teddy and Tristian look at him out of the corner of their eye. Brandon, the new addition to the table, gave Zach a sheepish smile. 

Zach let out a long sigh into his coffee before he spoke, “Brandon told you both everything, didn’t he?”

They both nodded but didn’t make eye contact.

“Well? Do either of you have any solutions?”

“I don’t want to get involved with this,” Tristan said, “Philly curses are another breed and I don’t need that energy in my life right now.” He picked up his plate and moved two tables away.

“I agree. You’re cursed,” Teddy said. 

“No shit, Sherlock. But who would curse me? I’m a fourth liner on a team with Evgeni Malkin and Sidney fucking Crosby!” Zach cried and took a disgruntled bite of oatmeal. 

“Are you certain you’re the only one cursed?” Teddy asked.

“Yeah, I- 

_ After the game, that first one, Zach had been one of the first people out to wait for the team bus. It had taken him forever to get to the game and he didn’t want to wait forever to get back, especially not after a loss. He didn’t need more time to reflect on everything he had fucked up in the game, every little thing he’d done that had caused them to lose.  _

_ He took an earbud out when he heard footsteps and saw Sidney approach. He looked even more devastated than Zach felt. It was one thing to lose the first game of the season, but a different thing to lose the first game of the season after you lost in the qualifiers to a team you should have easily beaten.  _

_ They didn’t say a word to each other, just stood in dejected silence on the snowy Philadelphia sidewalk as they prepared for another season of the worst, the highs and lows of professional hockey. A group of people in Flyers jerseys screamed at them as they strolled past. Zach sighed and cranked up his music to drown them out. One of them lingered behind, a person in a black hoodie and a Gritty mask. Fuck that orange furball. Everything went downhill for the Pens when he came around.  _

“Oh shit.”

Teddy raised his eyebrows in an I-told-you-so manner. 

“Sid is cursed too,” Zach realized. He had been so caught up in all these loops that he had never even thought of the day before his first loop. “But… that doesn’t make it any clearer how I break this?”

“Work together with Sid?” Brandon suggested with a shrug.

“Wait. If Sid is cursed too, how have I never noticed? He always does the same things every day. Like you guys do,” Zach said, his mind unable to piece this puzzle together.

“Sid does the same thing every day of his life. He’s a superstitious creature of habit,” Teddy pointed out. 

“...This might be the first loop where I commit murder,” Zach said as he stood up, furious. 

It was not. Right as he started to march over to Sidney to confront him, Kasperi Kapanen tripped over a chair and crashed into a table. The table flipped and sent Geno’s hot coffee flying through the air. It landed directly in Sam Lafferty’s lap, who, of course, freaked out and took off for the bathroom to rip his pants off before any damage could be done. On his wild dash there, Sam hit Zach and knocked him over. Zach hit his elbow on a table on his way down and hissed with pain. He rolled over in time to see a plate crash into a tray, which caused it to capulet off the edge of the table and hit Juuso Riikola in the head. He threw up the knife he was holding as he grabbed his head in pain. There was an assortment of shouts as Tristan, Geno, and Bryan all leaped out of the way to avoid being stabbed. When Tristan jumped onto the table to make his escape, he smacked his head off the ceiling. 

Zach heard a loud bang and looked up in time to see a pipe falling from the ceiling, headed for its final destination: his throat.

* * *

Zach woke up and instantly started to cough up a lung.

_ “But we both know, the way it’s gonna go,”  _ the singer crooned before getting interrupted by both a text from Kelsey Rust and Brandon exiting the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips.

“My water wasn’t working, so I picked the lock. Sorry to scare you, are you dying?” he asked with a concerned look.

Zach nodded, another cough escaping his chest. Brandon tossed him a bottle of water out of the mini-fridge and he gratefully chugged it. The coughing fit subsided and left behind only a sore throat from the pipe that had gone through it. 

“Thanks,” Zach said gratefully. Once he finished the bottle, he gave Brandon the daily rundown before he continued with the morning he had lived countless times already. There would be one change today. He was gonna rip Sid a new one. 

...

As soon as the elevator doors slid shut, Zach slammed the emergency stop button. 

“You’ve known this entire time and didn’t say anything to me!” He said as he glowered at Sidney. “I have been suffering for months and you didn’t say a goddamn word!”

“I was waiting on you,” Sidney replied and took a step away from Zach as a precaution. “I already sorted my feelings out with Geno.”   
  


“This isn’t a love loop! I’ve gone through the entire team except for you and it hasn’t broken the curse. Every. last. person!” Zach cried before he buried his hands in his hair in frustration. Sidney bit his lip and awkwardly rested a hand on Zach’s shoulder. 

“What about Brandon?” he asked, picking his words carefully.

Zach let out a laugh. “He was the first person I kissed. It didn’t break the loop.”

“It’s not about kissing or screwing or whatever else you’ve done with the team,” Sid held up a hand when Zach opened his mouth to speak, “Don’t tell me what you did with the team. This loop is about love, not that stuff.”

“Brandon doesn’t have feelings for me,” Zach insisted. 

“Are you sure?” Sidney asked, “Take your time and think it over. Who knows how long until the fire department gets here to let us out.”

Zach frowned but started to think it over. All the times Brandon had rushed to his side when he was in distress, how quick he believed Zach every day despite how crazy this loop stuff was, how willing he was to help Zach try to escape this insanity, the weird expression that was on his face every time Zach told him who he had made out with the loop before, the fact Brandon had chosen to come out to him instead of Teddy, who was the logical person to come out to. 

Oh.

_ Oh.  _

Brandon  _ was _ in love with him. 

“Sid? What do I do?” Zach asked quietly. This revelation had sent his mind reeling.

“Do you love him too?” Sidney asked.

“I… I don’t know.”

“Take your time and figure it out. You’ve got all the time in the world.”

Sid had barely gotten the words out when the elevator shifted off balance and sent them crashing into the wall and each other before it plummeted. 

* * *

Zach didn’t know how to handle the next day. He had felt guilty enough knowing Brandon was gay before he technically had told him, but now that he knew Brandon was in love with him? He couldn’t look Brandon in the eyes. He had spent this loop only caring about himself and had ignored all of Brandon’s problems. Brandon had never complained about it though. Every day he made the selfless choice to help Zach. 

Zach didn’t even know if he returned Brandon’s feelings or not. This loop had made him address parts of himself he had ignored for years. He’d ignored the way he felt about men since college and blamed his lack of relationship success on his zodiac sign instead of the fact all he wanted was to know how a cute boy tasted. He had never permitted himself that pleasure. Instead, he shoved that part of him down to the very depths of his soul so he would never have to think about it. But now, because of this stupid fucking loop, he had no choice but to address it. It made his head spin every time he thought about it.

The loop made him feel oddly free, though. Being able to finally act upon this desire without fear of judgment or disgrace had taken a weight off of Zach’s shoulders that he hadn’t been aware he carried. His game had gotten back to what it had been in college before he’d gotten to the NHL, where any slip-up could have gotten him sent down to rot in the AHL. Even when the loop broke, Zach would always have this, a secret few months of freedom that were his and his alone. 

Perhaps that was the whole reason this loop had happened. The universe had been kind, in a fucked up way, and given Zach the chance to right his wrongs and get a taste of everything he’d ever wanted. See the life he could live if things were different. 

He was snapped out of his thoughts by a knock on the door. Zach finished tying his tie before he opened the door to see Brandon there. He looked oddly hurt and Zach felt responsible. 

“Do you want to walk to the game with me?” Brandon asked quietly. 

“I wouldn’t mind it. Let me grab my coat,” Zach replied. 

They walked to the game in awkward silence and after the game, they walked back in that same silence despite their win. They took the scenic route, enjoying the gentle fall of snowflakes onto the deserted city streets around them. 

Brandon broke the silence when they were a block away from the hotel. “I’m gay,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

Well. Here was Zach’s chance to fix how much of a dick he had been that first day. 

“That’s great, Tans. Thank you for trusting me with this. It takes a lot of courage to come out, especially in this league.” Zach hoped his words were good enough. 

Brandon smiled, the first genuine smile Zach had seen from him all day, and pulled Zach into a bone-crushing hug. Zach smiled and returned the affectionate gesture. Once they had separated and resumed their walk again, Zach checked his watch.

11:55 PM. This was it. This was what he had needed to break the loop all along. It wasn’t even romantic love! Just platonic love and support. Zach smiled again, confident that he was finally safe. 

He looked up to see the masked Gritty figure standing under a streetlight a couple of yards ahead of them. It stared him down with murder in it’s cold, unseeing eyes. Zach saw all the progress he had just made crumble before him. 

“No!” Zach shouted at it, furious, “I did what you wanted me to! I fixed my wrongs. Why won’t you leave me alone!?” 

The figure took a step towards them and reached for something in its jacket. Zach grabbed Brandon’s hand and ran for the nearest building. They weren’t about to stick around to see what Gritty would kill them with this time. They ended up in an ancient church with a huge steeple. When they reached the altar, Brandon pulled his hand away. 

“Zach,” he whispered, “I have a plan. This person is after you, right?”

Zach nodded, not taking his eyes off the church doors. 

“Let me lead them away and you run up the stairs to the roof, okay? I’ll come to get you when it’s clear,” Brandon finished, a sincere and calm look on his face.

Brandon didn’t give Zach a chance to protest the plan. He gave Zach’s hand a final squeeze and shoved him towards the stairwell. Zach heard the church door slam open as he began his run up the staircase. He vaguely noticed there were small windows that overlooked the altar. Those would be useful to make sure the masked killer didn’t escape Brandon. Zach only had to make it a few more minutes and this nightmare would finally be over. He heard a scream and paused to look through the nearest window, hopeful. 

The masked figure was headed towards the stairwell, leaving Brandon in a pile on the sanctuary floor. Zach felt his heart plummet to the bottom of his stomach. 

“You motherfucker!” Zach cried out. This was the last straw. He was so close this time and he wasn’t going to lose again. Not to an orange fucking furball. 

Zach crouched down on the stairs and waited for the Gritty figure. He had nothing to defend himself with but the element of surprise. As soon as he saw the first glimpse of orange, he launched himself at it and swung for its head. His punch connected and they tumbled down the stairs as they both struggled for the upper hand. Zach felt the knife as it plunged into his thigh. He let out a pained cry as they rolled down another flight of stairs, their fight for the knife continuing. When they hit the landing, the knife flew out of the killer’s hand. It landed at the edge of the stairs and teetered upon the edge. Zach and the Gritty figure exchanged a look before they both began a mad dash for it. Zach grabbed the knife right as it began to fall. He whirled around and plunged it repeatedly into the masked figure’s chest as he screamed out months of anger and frustration. It stopped struggling and slumped to the ground.

Zach let out a relieved laugh before he tossed the knife to the side and wiped the blood off of his watch. 11:58 PM. It was over. He had finally done it! Zach Aston-Reese was finally fucking free!

“Take that, orange motherfucker!” He screamed at the motionless figure. Then he remembered.

Brandon. 

Zach looked through the window to see Brandon lying on the altar stairs in a pool of winter moonlight that crept through the stained glass. The carpet around him was dark with blood. 

“Brandon?” Zach whispered, voice small and echoey in the empty church. He got no answer. 

He took off at full speed for the steeple, ignoring the pain in his leg. Zach had less than two minutes to die or else the loop would end and leave him in a timeline where Brandon was dead for good. He couldn’t bear the thought of living in a universe without Brandon and his bright smile and his cookies and his overwhelming energy and-

Oh. 

_ Oh.  _

He  _ was  _ in love with Brandon.

Zach reached the edge of the steeple with ten seconds to spare. He leaned back and let himself fall into a strange new world.

* * *

  
  
  


“You were right,” Zach said as soon as the elevator doors closed behind him. 

“I usually am,” Sid replied without looking up from his book. 

“I think I love Brandon too,” Zach continued. Saying that aloud made him feel giddy and lightheaded, like a teenager after their first kiss. 

“You are going to tell him, right? I’m getting tired of telling Geno my feelings every day.”

“I am but… after the game. After we win,” Zach said. His heartbeat picked up just thinking about it. Lovey-dovey stuff was never his strong suit. 

“Who says we’re going to win?” Sid teased as he pushed the elevator doors open. 

...

After the game, which they did, win, Zach stood alone as he waited for the team bus. The win was much less exciting after he had already experienced it thirty-seven times before. He heard footsteps approach and looked up to see Brandon. That was new. Brandon usually stayed back and celebrated in the locker room with the guys for longer. 

“You played a good game tonight,” Brandon said with a small smile.

“One of the benefits of a time loop. I’ve played it quite a few times before,” Zach chuckled awkwardly. 

They stood side by side in comfortable silence as Zach mustered up the courage to do what he needed to and finally end this godforsaken loop. 

“Brandon?” Zach said softly.

“Yeah?” Brandon replied, hushed and gentle.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Brandon looked at him, a hopeful look on his features. “Zach?”

“Yes?”

“I think I’m in love with you too,” Brandon said, breathless. 

“Huh. Maybe we should do something about that then,” Zach replied with a grin. 

“Maybe we should. What did you have in mind?” Brandon asked, returning the grin. 

* * *

  
  
  


Zach heard his alarm go off and groaned as he pulled his pillow over his head. 

_ “But we both know, the way it’s gonna go,”  _ the singer crooned before getting interrupted by a text. That jolted Zach wide awake. He waited, tense, and heard something rustle in his bathroom. 

Brandon walked out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. “My water wasn’t working, so I picked the lock.” 

Zach felt his heart leap into his throat and launched himself out of bed in a panic. He’d confessed his love to Brandon! Sid confessed his feelings to Geno! The loop was supposed to be broken!

Brandon burst into laughter. “You should have seen your face,” he said as he wiped tears from his eyes, “You are so easy to prank!”

Zach stared at him, incredulous, before he picked up a pillow and chucked it at Brandon. Brandon dodged, still laughing. 

“You’re an asshole!” Zach said as he grabbed another pillow and aimed for Brandon’s head this time. That one smacked Brandon directly in his smug face. 

“You’re the one that told me all about your time loop and then expected me not to fuck with you when it was broken.” 

“Yeah, because I trusted you. My mistake,” Zach rolled his eyes as he grabbed a pair of pants from the floor and tossed them towards Brandon. “I think those are yours.”

“So, what are you gonna do now?” Brandon asked as he scoured the room for his socks. 

“Go home and cuddle Carl until he’s sick of me,” Zach replied. 

“Without me?” Brandon said with a mock pout as he sat on the edge of the bed to pull his socks on.

“We have two hours until the plane leaves. I’ll be all yours until then,” Zach said as he pushed Brandon back onto the bed and kissed him.

“Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life, baby!” Brandon chuckled when they had pulled apart. 

Zach had a feeling the rest of his life was going to be pretty good. 

**Author's Note:**

> For anybody wondering, the song Zach keeps waking up to is Hot Rod by Dayglow, a song he seems to play every time he streams on Twitch. 
> 
> Come say hi to me on Twitter (@goalferal) or on Tumblr (@tanevthehimbo)!
> 
> If you liked this, pls tell me I crave validation.


End file.
